The summer before Margot left for college, Claire asked her to take a walk.<\/p>\n
They went to the park near the house.<\/p>\n
I did not hear their conversation.<\/p>\n
I didn't need to.<\/p>\n
Some things belonged to them.<\/p>\n
When Margot returned, she looked thoughtful.<\/p>\n
Not upset.<\/p>\n
Thoughtful.<\/p>\n
I was sitting on the porch.<\/p>\n
She sat beside me.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire told me something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me she was jealous.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me she was jealous of Mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n
I considered that.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds painful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said she hated feeling like she was walking into a family where someone else had already been loved.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was how she felt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe also said she was ashamed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause she took that feeling out on me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot was quiet.<\/p>\n
Then she said, \u201cI think I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don't have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked toward the street.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople can be afraid and still hurt someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd being afraid doesn't make the hurt okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut it can explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot smiled faintly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat's what Mommy meant.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said people can make mistakes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe did.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot leaned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think Claire is brave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe tells me the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat matters.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe never pretends she was right.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe tells me she was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat matters even more.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you hate her?\u201d<\/p>\n
I was silent.<\/p>\n
It was an honest question.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked surprised.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor a little while?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you were crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted someone to blame.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you blame Mommy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I learned that blame isn't the same as accountability.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBlame asks who deserves pain.\u201d<\/p>\n
I paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cAccountability asks what needs to change.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot thought about it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do I.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n
Then she said, \u201cI don't hate Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that strange?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEven though she hurt me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause love is not an award for perfect behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds like something you would say.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n
She leaned her head against my shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad you didn't make me choose.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked toward her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBetween what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBetween Mommy and Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
I swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cNeither of them ever needed you to choose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was quiet.<\/p>\n
Then she said, \u201cI think that was the real problem at the wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire thought I had to choose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you knew I didn't.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you spoke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that changed everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cEnough.\u201d<\/p>\n
The months passed quickly.<\/p>\n
Margot prepared for college.<\/p>\n
Emmett became unbearable.<\/p>\n
He checked travel plans six times.<\/p>\n
Claire bought things Margot didn't need.<\/p>\n
I gave her practical advice.<\/p>\n
\u201cLearn how to cook three meals.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can cook.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThree meals.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can make pasta.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPasta counts as one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are the other two?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEggs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is not a meal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is if you're hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n
Then she hugged me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou're ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm experienced.\u201d<\/p>\n
The night before she left, the family gathered in the hallway.<\/p>\n
The three photographs were still there.<\/p>\n
The copy of Phoebe's letter remained beneath them.<\/p>\n
Margot stood in front of the display.<\/p>\n
She looked at it for a long time.<\/p>\n
Then she said, \u201cI want to change one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Emmett looked concerned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to add one more photograph.\u201d<\/p>\n
She held up her phone.<\/p>\n
It was a picture of the four of us.<\/p>\n
Emmett.<\/p>\n
Claire.<\/p>\n
Margot.<\/p>\n
Me.<\/p>\n
It had been taken that summer at a lake.<\/p>\n
Nobody looked perfect.<\/p>\n
Everyone was sunburned.<\/p>\n
Margot was laughing.<\/p>\n
Claire was holding a towel.<\/p>\n
Emmett was squinting.<\/p>\n
I was carrying too much food.<\/p>\n
Margot wanted that photograph beside the others.<\/p>\n
She framed it.<\/p>\n
Then she placed it at the end.<\/p>\n
Phoebe.<\/p>\n
The wedding.<\/p>\n
Margot.<\/p>\n
The family.<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
She wasn't rewriting history.<\/p>\n
She was showing what history had become.<\/p>\n
Claire stood beside her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire looked at Phoebe's photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I could have known her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margot smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know her a little.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThrough me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire's eyes filled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is the nicest thing you've ever said to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone laughed.<\/p>\n
Later that night, Emmett and I sat outside.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s ready,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't know if I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don't have to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you ever wish you hadn't made that speech?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about it.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot even once?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEven knowing how close we came to losing everything?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat speech didn't almost destroy the family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe choice to hurt a child.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd the choice to repair it saved us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked toward the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire changed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo did I.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think Margot changed most.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe stopped asking whether she belonged.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was always the point.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next morning, we drove Margot to college.<\/p>\n
She cried when she hugged Claire.<\/p>\n
She cried when she hugged Emmett.<\/p>\n
She tried not to cry when she hugged me.<\/p>\n
It didn't work.<\/p>\n
\u201cCall me,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEat properly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon't trust people who hate breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she got into the car.<\/p>\n
Before leaving, she rolled down the window.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandpa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know where I belong.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
The car drove away.<\/p>\n
I stood beside Claire and Emmett.<\/p>\n
The driveway became empty.<\/p>\n
Claire wiped her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI miss her already.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do I.\u201d<\/p>\n
Emmett put an arm around both of us.<\/p>\n
For once, nobody said anything.<\/p>\n
There was nothing left to explain.<\/p>\n
The summer before Margot left for college, Claire asked her to take a walk. They went to the park near the house. I did not hear their conversation. I didn't … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4745,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sharestory"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4756"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4768,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4756\/revisions\/4768"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onesharedstory.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}