Theo's life continued to grow beyond the years he had spent beside Jack.
That was how it should have been.
He attended classes, made new friends, and began thinking about what he wanted to do after college.
Daniel and I heard about those things gradually.
Sometimes Theo told us during dinner.
Sometimes he mentioned them in a quick phone call.
Sometimes he arrived at the house with a story he clearly couldn't wait to share.
I liked those visits.
They reminded me that the boy who had once sat beside Jack's bed was still becoming someone new.
One afternoon, he came over and told us he had been thinking about his future.
He had several ideas.
He wasn't certain which direction he would take, and he seemed uncomfortable admitting that he didn't have everything figured out.
I listened as he explained his thoughts.
Then I asked him what he wanted most.
He considered the question.
"I want to make my own decisions without worrying so much about whether everyone agrees."
I smiled.
"That sounds like a reasonable place to start."
He laughed.
Then his expression became more serious.
"Sometimes I still think about Jack when I make plans."
I waited.
"I wonder what he would say if he knew what I was doing."
I understood.
Jack had been part of Theo's life for so long that it was natural for him to imagine his friend's reaction.
They had grown up together.
They had shared ordinary days, difficult moments, and years of memories that belonged to no one else in quite the same way.
Losing Jack had changed Theo's future, too.
He had not only lost someone he loved.
He had lost the person he might have called when something wonderful happened.
The person who would have argued with him about his choices.
The person who would have remembered the same childhood stories.
The person who would have been there to see what happened next.
I reached across the table.
"You don't have to stop thinking about him."
Theo looked at me.
"But you don't have to ask his permission to live your life, either."
He smiled faintly.
"I know."
I wasn't sure he did.
I hadn't always known it myself.
For a long time, I had felt guilty whenever I enjoyed something Jack would have loved.
A good meal.
A funny film.
An ordinary afternoon when nothing terrible happened.
I would catch myself smiling and then remember that my son wasn't there.
The happiness would become painful.
It had taken me time to understand that missing Jack didn't mean I had to refuse every good thing that came afterward.
I could enjoy something and wish he were there.
I could make plans and still remember the future he had lost.
I could laugh at a joke and still cry when I thought about him later.
Those feelings didn't cancel one another.
I told Theo that.
He listened quietly.
Then he nodded.
"I think Jack would tell me to stop overthinking it."
I laughed.
"He would probably tell both of us."
That became one of our favorite things to say when we found ourselves worrying about something we couldn't control.
It was a small joke.
Nothing compared with the promises and stories that had brought us together after Jack's death.
But it sounded like him.
And sometimes that was enough.
As Theo grew older, I began noticing how much of his friendship with Jack remained in the way he treated people.
He listened when someone needed to talk.
He knew how to make a difficult moment less frightening without pretending it wasn't difficult.
He could laugh at himself.
And he was willing to admit when he had been wrong.
I didn't think those qualities belonged to Jack alone.
Theo had his own character.
But their years together had mattered.
They had helped shape each other.
That was what friendship did.
It left traces.
One evening, Theo mentioned the funeral again.
He had been telling us about a conversation with someone who had heard the story of the red dress.
The person had asked whether he regretted wearing it.
Theo said he had thought about the question for a while.
Then he had answered honestly.
He didn't regret keeping his promise.
He regretted that people had misunderstood him before he could explain.
I felt that familiar sting of shame.
I had been one of those people.
Theo noticed my expression.
"Mrs. Harris, I wasn't talking about you."
"I know."
He looked at me.
"I mean it."
I nodded.
He had forgiven me long before I had forgiven myself.
That was the difference.
I was still revisiting the moment when I had judged him.
He had already moved beyond it.
I wondered whether I was making the same mistake again by insisting on carrying guilt he had never asked me to carry.
Perhaps I was.
I took a breath.
"I'm glad you came that day."
Theo smiled.
"Me too."
We sat quietly for a moment.
Then he glanced toward the living room.
"Do you still have that picture of us covered in mud?"
I laughed.
"Of course."
"Can I see it?"
I went to get it.
When I returned, he held the frame in both hands.
He studied the two boys in the photograph.
"I remember that day."
"So do I."
"Jack blamed me for getting mud on his shirt."
"Jack blamed everyone for everything."
Theo laughed.
"True."
He put the photograph back on the table.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then Theo looked at me.
"I'm glad you kept it."
"So am I."
He didn't need to say anything else.
The photograph had survived the years.
The boys in it had grown up, although only one of them had been given the chance to become a man.
But the picture still showed the beginning of something that had mattered.
Their friendship had not been erased by Jack's death.
It had changed shape.
It lived in Theo's memories.
It lived in the stories we shared.
It lived in the small ways we tried to treat one another better because we had learned how much could be hidden beneath an unexpected action.
I placed the photograph back on the shelf.
Theo stayed for dinner that evening.
Before he left, Daniel reminded him to call us if he needed anything.
Theo smiled.
"I will."
I believed him.
And for the first time, I didn't feel as though I was watching Jack's best friend walk away from us.
I felt as though I was watching someone we loved continue into the future.
That was what I wanted for him.
Not to forget Jack.
Not to stop missing him.
Just to keep living.
Source: kaylestore.net
Click here to continue reading: PART 11: The Last Line of Jack’s Note Explained Why He Had Trusted Me to Understand, Even Though I Had Failed Him at First
I Thought My Son’s Best Friend Had Crossed a Line Until I Saw What He Was Carrying Into the Chapel
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